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August 05, 2007

Going Home

Beka - Bekaserdans72x721 I’m going home, climbing onto Jet Blue, heading back upstate to see my family, the first time since last September. I want to feel the breezes of Lake Ontario flow through my overgrown hair – hair that now exhibits grey strands (something new since the last time I visited). I want to be hugged and hugged by my mother. I want to replant my aunt’s garden, creating havoc as new perennials are planted from the lush garden shop on Ridge Road. I want to escape Harry Potter mania. (I never understood the books or the plot. The movies look a bit untamed to me and I guess I simply am not attracted to witches, warlocks, or magic, even though old Latvian folklore is filled with potions and mythology passed from one generation to the next.)

I am leaving the concrete that seems to surround me, along with unexpected pipe bursts that spewed asbestos, dirt, and steam in Midtown Manhattan, bringing on fear of terrorists and a repeat of 9-11.  I am heading home to think and reflect about what has happened the past few weeks in the ICU. Rest will greet me, as will home-made cooking. Today I cleaned my apartment, reorganized my books, and tied up loose ends.

I am going home to pick blueberries, mow the lawn, and simply REST. Something that we all should consider each day as life moves along.

Life is a paradise for those who love many things with a passion - Leo Buscaglia

August 5, 2007 in Beka | Permalink

Comments

I'm ready to go with you! Sounds wonderful
1

Posted by: Kim | Aug 8, 2007 6:15:19 PM

Re ICU deaths. Beka, your return home sounds very healthy. Rest is something we nurses tend to ignore, and it is so essential to healing. I was in hospice nursing for a number of years and one of the most important functions we provided was to health care staff. Most hospices have staff skilled in bereavement that work with hospital and long term care staff. It is part of the "community services' they provide, usually for free. As our society ages we are going to see a lot more deaths on an ongoing basis and we need to start to provide more care for the caregivers. You have seen clearly the toll it took on you and your fellow workers.

2nd re Sheryl's note. I am currently researching nursing workforce issues and have been surprised to find that new grads actually rate their peers extremely highly on the support they provide. Apparently nurses "eating their young" may be more myth than reality. Perhaps it reflects the stress that we work under. I came to nursing as a second career and when I did my initial obligatory 2 years of medsurg I was struck by how very hard nurses work. I used to say it was like "working in the fields" (I grew up in the country.) The combined psychological and physical stress is relentless and we are basically left to care for ourselves. The same studies that indicated that nurses do try to take care of each other show that our managers are largely absent and our administrative support is virtually nonexistent.

Posted by: Cathy | Aug 8, 2007 9:59:25 AM

Hi!
I have been a RN 31 years. I've worked in different areas of nursing (one of the POSITIVES about nursing as a career). One thing that is common to all of us is seeing the negative and talking incessantly about what is WRONG. How many times do we talk about what is RIGHT? I am educating RN students now and it is quite a challenge teaching them to look at the positives, too. We all need to vent; but, at a certain time, it is just OBSESSING about all that is wrong. And that leads to HOPELESSNESS, DESPAIR, DEPRESSION, BURNOUT.
One of the problems with nursing is that we don't unite. There are SO MANY of us in so many roles that we can really have an impact. Often we can't even agree with our co-workers, much less universally deciding anything!
We have legitimate issues. Are we problem-solving or merely complaining? What are you actively doing to change whatever it is you're complaining about? If you're complaining and not following it up with action, then, you're only making noise and promoting negativity. And that quickly zaps energy.
Next time you hear yourself complaining about something that is wrong, also make a statement about what is right. Many have heard that keeping a gratitude journal daily helps a person's morale. That's because it helps our PERSPECTIVE. I know my attitude changes greatly when I look at the positives and don't just focus on the negatives. Each one of us has that power within us.

Posted by: Sheryl | Aug 7, 2007 8:12:39 PM

Hi!
This is unrelated to your post, but I'm letting you know that Into The Unit is back up and posting. Life from the view of a Highland ICU nurse.
--Jen

Posted by: Jen | Aug 7, 2007 2:03:01 PM

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